A – Z Blogging Challenge, Raising Boys: The Penis Chronicles presents the Letter S for Strange Games

Sometimes I find my boys playing the strangest games. Sometimes they convince me to join in on these strange games, and my role in the games is usually the most bizarre! It must be a conspiracy, the pair of them conspiring to humour themselves and tease mom in the process. Anyway, here a few of their games:

Dog Pound: The boys create some king of enclosure out of toys or cushions. I then get to play a dog that repeatedly escapes. This dog is repeatedly caught and returned to the pound. I should probably mention that it isn’t enough to use my two feet and run off. No, I have to crawl, bark, and growl! Woof.

Monster: Yes, you guessed it. Mom gets to play the monster. This role involves roaring, strange sounds, and chasing two little boys around in an attempt to catch them. Sometimes this game has variations like a tickle monster, or a kissing monster…

Giant: “Fe Fi Foe Fum, I smell the toes of two stinky little sons!” (A line that always creates shrieks and giggles.) It goes without saying that this time mom gets to be a child-eating giant.

I’m sure you can see the pattern here! It is like auditioning for a child directed bloopers hidden camera.

Super Heroes: Now this game isn’t strange as much as it is amusing. The moves the boys go through in fighting an invisible villain are very entertaining. Yes, I said invisible bad guy; this is the one game where I don’t usually get the strange or monstrous role. However, just because I am not a dog, a giant, or some other monster doesn’t make it any less bizarre. I mean we are taking about a grown woman jumping and kicking the air, rolling on the ground, yelling, racing towards invisible foes, and generally peculiar behaviour. Imagine knocking on my door (which is glass, so you can see right into my home), and you don’t see the kids because they are around the corner but you see me having a full out wrestling match with someone isn’t there! Oh yes, it has happened: Purolator, Canada Post, people dropping off flyers, people selling things…Thankfully the children have not yet conspired to hide themselves away at that point and make me look eccentric, they usually are too interested in who is at the door.

Then we get into things like cars that fly, planes that act like submarines, and toys that talk but only certain people can hear. More of the usual games, I think. Another game that falls in here is baby, and of course, I get to play that role. This one is kind of nice because I usually get to lay in the floor with a pillow and they cover me up, read to me, bring me water, and give hugs and kisses. Anyway, the list goes on, but I am curious what are some of the strange games you have experience with the kids?

By Shari Marshall – written for April 22, 2017

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