Parenting

“Um, Pardon?”and story rules

The Penis Chronicles present “Um, Pardon?” and story rules

One of the things that my boys and I enjoy doing together is telling stories. It was something my older boy and I started doing a few years ago based off the pictures in a search and find book (Hungry Daddy Story). It spiraled from there into just telling random stories at bedtime and sometimes at random times when the mood suits us. I didn’t know when I started this pastime with the boys that sometimes the stories were going to contain content that I wouldn’t consider story narrative. However, with boys I have discovered that you just never know.

Needless to say I have learned that story time needs to have ground rules. Those rules go something like this:

  1. No stories about the toilet or things in the toilet. And yes it is necessary to specifically say the words no stories about poop, pooping, pee, or peeing and no stories about doing things with poop or pee.
  2. No stories about body parts. Again specifying that penises, vaginas, bums, breasts and nipples do not need to be part of a story.
  3. No stories about farting, burping or vomiting.
  4. Stories about rules one, two and three are not funny and story time will be done for the night if that is the content of the story.
  5. No swearing.
  6. No bodily functions need to accompany the story.

I am sure you can imagine that reminders of these rules are usual inserted as story interruptions to head off what I know is coming or to drag the story away from what the story teller is letting on occurred as an accidental slip in the narrative.

So, when my youngest was 4 years old he attempted one of his first stories. It went like this:

“Once upon a time there was a dragon. He had a blue tail, a blue face, a blue penis, and blue wings. The end.”

Um, pardon?

By Shari Marshall – 2019

“Um, Pardon” was originally post on September 8, 2018 (Original, which is a bit longer, can be view here.)


The Penis Chronicles is a weekly platform for sharing childcare stories, advice & etcetera. Raising children is an adventure! And please, I know the title says “penis chronicles”, but stories about raising girls are very much welcome. Please post and share your link and/or your comments in the comments section below.

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