Let’s talk about jealousy for a moment, jealous in the sense of “feeling or showing envy of someone or their achievements and advantages” (Google February 18, 2017).
When my first son was born he instantly became mommy’s little man. Even at almost 7 he is my boy. Oh sure, he loves his dad too but when it comes down to comfort, questions, cuddles, homework, games, or bedtime it is mom he runs to. I remember my husband commenting on the extra attention that I seemed to get from our first son, but I never really thought much about it or his perception of it.
Then my second son came along. He was a daddy’s boy. He wanted daddy when he got hurt, or just for cuddles, and bedtime and everything else. I had been prepared to have 2 little men that wanted mom’s constant attention and I actually felt jealous that son 2 ran to daddy instead of me. Now I knew what my husband had been talking about with our first son. I remember actually saying to my husband once, half in just and half in jealousy, “I don’t think he likes me.”
Somewhere along the line this switched again, and I suddenly found myself the centre of both little boy’s worlds. Mommy is wanted for everything with both of them so much so that if I can’t split myself between the 2 instantly arguments break out between them and tears to. Daddy stands there wondering if he is wearing some form of child repellant. Now I am slightly jealous that he can use the bathroom in piece, sit on a piece of furniture without being smothered, leave the room without being followed or given the third degree, and have a few seconds to sit and relax. Don’t get me wrong I love being the centre of their world, and I know that as they grow there will be more switches to these dynamics, but once in a while I would appreciate having a bath without finding a naked 3 year old climbing into the tub behind me or pounding down the door when I remember to lock it. Going to the bathroom without the dynamic dual giving commentary on the process would be a treat too!
Regardless, I look back at these things with no jealousy, I have just fond memories of parenting moments that were new and wonderful for my husband and myself. I also look at the present moments with a warm knowledge to enjoy them while they last. I look to the future knowing that jealousy has no place in it and that each moment will be memorable and precious.
By Shari Marshall – April 12, 2017